Bug: The Identity That Doesn’t Fit In A Box

When I was born, my mom gave me the nickname Chlobug. Throughout my life people have shortened that nickname to Bug, but Bug is WAY more than just a nickname to me.

Being the Bug is my identity. Being the Bug is what makes me everything that I am and that’s a whole lot more than what people see. To me, it’s everything! It’s what makes me extremely unique.

Some people might think this is me trying to identify as an animal because apparently people do that now. NOPE, that’s not what I’m doing at all here. What I’m doing when I say “I’m The Bug” is claiming everything that I am and have ever been through.

For my entire life, people have been shoving me into various boxes that I have never felt like I truly fit in. This is a difficult concept because I don’t want to offend anybody, but I’ve noticed that it doesn’t matter what I feel or say. People are always going to have their own perspective and version of me or who they want me to be.

Let me just say that I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE boxes and labels because they do not do any justice as to explaining who I am as a person. People like to assume that if they put me in boxes and label me, it means they have me all figured out. Here’s the thing though, THEY DON’T! People can’t just look at me and go “Yup, I know exactly who you are.”

Being the Bug means I have talents and gifts that people are oblivious to or they absolutely refuse to see the possibilities of me having them. All they see is the Cerebral palsy, which isn’t who I am at all. Then, there are people who get jealous of me because they think I have it all and I don’t.

Being who I am means that I’m authentic no matter how people see me. I’ve realized that I truly can’t control peoples’ perspectives of who I am, which really sucks because the real me, the real Bug is the best version and people miss out on so much when they can’t see passed my chair and when they can’t see passed my CP.

I know not everybody is able to see me for all that I am, but that doesn’t make me any less of the Bug. There really isn’t a box that people could make me fit in that I would be comfortable in because I just feel trapped. Confining me to any type of box or label does more harm than good because I’m a free spirit who has a whole different perspective on the world.

People choose not to see me for who I am, but rather what I have. I refuse to be known as CP or any other definitions other than Chloe Sutterfield AKA The Bug. I also have one of a kind experiences that no one can truly understand.

There are things that come with being the Bug that are way too much to handle at times and it can get to the point where I don’t want to deal with anything, but I do it anyway. I’m stronger than I look, physically and mentally.

Not giving up on anything is also a Bug thing to do because I would rather live life to the fullest and be happy in life than to please everyone and be miserable all of the time.

Proving myself to people is completely and utterly exhausting and there are things about myself that I just cannot prove. Unfortunately that also comes with being Bug.

Believe it or not, I have a very old soul that has shaped me into the Bug I am today. It’s given me the strength and knowledge to help me survive in today’s world. People were right, I was going to change. However, they never took into consideration how or why I would change. They just thought or hoped that I would grow out of being a tomboy, but that was not the case.

So who am I? I’m just The Bug and if you want to take that away from me, well I’m sorry but you can’t have my identity.